The Discovery of Differences
Couples tend to discuss many things while they are dating, and it helps them decide whether or not the person they are with is suitable for a long term relationship. Their talks may help them realize they have many things in common, but those areas where they do not agree might be unimportant at the time. The discovery of differences can come at any time during a relationship. It might be a disaster or illness striking one of them that brings them to light, or it could be a sudden realization when a particular topic arises. It can make or break a committed relationship if the differences are too much to bear.
Hope and optimism are usually hallmarks of the beginning of a relationship, and people tend to put a positive spin on many issues. Two people looking for a lifetime partnership could make the mistake of assuming their partner sees everything their way because they agree on many basic issues. Life has a way of showing up different values when disaster or illness strikes, yet it will often be a surprise to those dealing with a crisis.
Basic values couples often discuss are things like marriage and children, yet they may skip over any disagreements about them they feel are minor. Getting married or making a commitment without exploring those values could cost them in the future. If both want children, they need to agree on the number of them. If one person wants to stop at only at few, their partner might decide it is time to find someone else if they want more.
Each person has their own set of values, and they can change as they go through life. Even if couples agree on basics while they are dating, the future might hold many differences for them as they grow through life. Remaining in a committed relationship requires couples to continue talking about issues long after they choose to spend their future together.